I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
