I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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