He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
