Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
