i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm bleeding and have questions
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