garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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