okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
