3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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