Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
