I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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