How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
