Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
