fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i came on her dog
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
