That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
