when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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