Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
