Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
