Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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