Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
