john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
