If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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