This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
