READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
