I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
