Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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