Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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