I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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