went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
