Me. At least after what I've been through.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
