Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
