the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
