We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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