Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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