Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They have beer where we have blood.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
