The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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