fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Randomize
