That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
