if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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