My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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