I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
