i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
