Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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