like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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