after a month anything with tits is on the radar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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