I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
