I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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