the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't think brook has ever known best
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
