Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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