Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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