I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
